Making Our Dating LIfe AS GOOD As Our Business Lives

I’ll never forget the sound of that one slice of old pizza, sliding around in that hollow box, which he had only “given” to me because he was too full to eat the whole thing himself on his lunch break.

It had sat in his car for 8 hours while he worked. I knew because I was texting him desperately that day, the day I received the worst news of my life.

It was 2010. I was sitting in the dark in the living room, crying uncontrollably over just hearing that an important mother figure in my life had just passed away suddenly, from a stroke.

His bright headlights pierced through my dark safe haven, then he walked by the living room and whipped a nearly empty box of pizza at the couch beside me, and said, “Stop your fake crying. Here’s your dinner.”

It was the biggest dating wake up call of my life.

It was also the day I decided enough was enough.

I was one year into building my current 15 year old business that I have now. I knew I was born to thrive and shine BIG BIG BIG, way bigger than I was at the beginning of my business, but he kept pinching off my vibe like a nail I could NOT get out of my tire.

He had done similar things before of course, behaviour like this doesn’t usually just appear out of nowhere. In fact he was consistently showing me, with and without words, that he didn’t give a crap about me.

Yet there I was. Living with him. Saying nothing about his vile treatment of me, except when I occasionally found the courage to try to make things better, which is when he would look me in the eyes and say, “This just isn’t the kind of relationship worth committing to,” while he continued to call, text and go out with me regularly.

Still, I didn’t leave him. I stayed. I clung, not really hearing or taking in what his mouth or his behaviour were telling me. Pretending it didn’t even happen most of the time, so I could keep him in my life.

WHY? I needed him to love me more than anything back then, because I had no clue how to love and value  myself, first, and the symptoms of my unresolved trauma ruled my life!

It was all subconscious until I did the inner work to resolve it all, but this was the vibe:

Day to day, it felt like I didn’t have a moment to myself to even contemplate what respecting myself deeply would look like. There wasn’t space like that in my days. There wasn’t time like that. I was so behind on EVERYTHING. My self-care. House stuff. Seeing friends and family I missed and loved, let alone making sure my business dreams got manifested. I couldn’t even feel calm anymore, not for long periods.

I was overwhelmed— so much so, that losing him — yes even though he kept showing me and telling me “I could care less about you,”— felt like the end of the world. I didn’t like the feeling of living without him, I didn’t want to.

So I carried on the connection with him, even though living with someone so wrong for me, stressed me out even more. Even though staying stole the peace out of my home that I once knew, and so desperately wanted back.

Yet deep down I knew, that dealing with him was WAY BETTER than dealing with the inner conflict and turmoil I had going on within me. THAT was worse than dating a guy like that for me at the time. I didn’t want to face it, especially not alone. I wanted someone, anyone—even someone like that—over being alone.

Even though I had been to therapy, I didn’t have the tools, skills, or even HOPE that things could get better for me anymore. I had also had some weird experiences with therapists who didn’t get my huge business dreams (a few even seemed threatened or disturbed by them), so the thought of going back to therapy didn’t feel right, either.

This is what living in emotional survival mode looks like.

You could be making all the money in the world, well on the way to building the business of your dreams, you could be one of the baddest female boss babes online, but when this is what your internal world and your home life feels like, then working harder, or making more money, isn’t the answer.

If you keep trying to solve problems like these with success, you’ll just end up like I was — YES getting the guts on that day, as well as a few other days when we were together, to say “I can’t take this anymore.” Grab my stuff, move into a hotel with the intention of never going back. Only to find myself back there again a week or so later. Confused. Frustrated. Wondering how a self-aware, successful, intelligent woman like myself could keep ending up back there.

As it turned out, traditional therapy wasn’t the answer for me anymore; I had gotten what I needed from that. I needed something more at that stage.

Doing it on my own wasn’t the answer anymore, either. There are periods of that for sure on our Unstoppable Boss Babe journeys, but being so stuck and caught up in my own blind spots like I was? = not one of those times.

I needed a coach, a mentor, who REALLY got me. Who had been there. Who had lived it. Who knew what I was going through and who knew exactly what it took and exactly what to do to get to my next level of the “against all odds/one in a million” successful life that I had created, and who knew how to get me out of the more challenging parts of my inner world conflicts, once and for all AKA they never come back.   

YES when you do this inner work with me as your mentor, you get to resolve all of this WHILE continuing to start or grow your business dream… we don’t put that on pause around here! You don’t have to tell me that living without it isn’t an option. Without living my life purpose by making sure my business keeps serving the women it needs to be serving, I feel empty. Gross. Unfulfilled. I would never go back to living that way again, so why would I expect you to?

BUT … what if there was a way to resolve that “something is off” feeling? What if we dealt with that, together by creating a customized plan for you to keep being that Baddie Boss Babe, but ALSO have a solid, bullet-proof way to make sure that people problems (often rooted in past trauma) don’t keep creeping around, pinching off your FULL THRIVING vibe (like that ex of mine I talked about above did to me?)

What if you have a few sessions with me then see clearly how there IS another way, and it’s not as hard to implement as you’re currently thinking it is?

Or what if you started out by hopping into my membership program where I drop regular, fresh new audios pertaining to how I help my clients keep going with starting or growing their business dreams?

You can access the library any time you like. Just open the app and press play in any of the categories you like.

Price is increasing next week. Detailed sign-in instructions are available the moment you register. You could be listening in a few minutes and well on you way to moving through and beyond these sticky entanglements TODAY.

Click HERE to start listening now.

I’ve got you!

Gina