My "Good Girl" People-Pleasing Era? No More ...

That Era When Good Girl People-Pleasing Energy Ruled My Romantic Life (and my income!) …

I’m doing some spring cleaning today --electronically and physically -- and came across this pic of my old spice cupboard, in a home I lived in with a guy who just didn’t think I mattered anywhere close to how much he mattered. We’re talking 1950s energy when it comes to household and relationship gender roles, ya know?

  before I go into this, I help women to raise their prices in their business so they can lead a more fulfilling life, financially and otherwise, so this isn’t anything near the vicinity of a man-hating post.

How we relate to others has an impact on our self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth, which affects how much money and Hot Abundance we allow into our lives, so this is necessary conversation.

In fact in my 16 years of helping thousands of women with their businesses, clearing stagnant and expired relationship energy from their lives was the key to guiding them into more income every single time.

Which brings me back to my spice cupboard   I took this photo the day I was packing up my things and moving out of a relationship that had way too much “Old Daddy Pattern” attachment energy for my liking.

(In case you need translation from muggle-speak, that means: I chose my romantic relationships based on subconscious patterns from my childhood relationship with my father = the psychological template for how I relate to men in the world).

In a quick nutshell, that was: men put work and whatever else they do in their private time away from the family, above their wives and children. I grew up in the “women are housekeepers” era, what can I say? Anyway, I was packing this cupboard and saw all my spices, that I had initially moved into the relationship with, at the very back.

= exactly accurate.

=exactly how I had lived in that relationship, the entire time.

Letting me and my way of eating slide to the back, because I wanted to make him happy (I dove into the fast food, bbq steak, eating out life instead, and gained a massive amount of boyfriend weight)

I also had to put that sign up because he disregarded my need for organization, for peace and clean space, regularly - no matter how many times, with my best polite, people-pleasing, Good Girl energy forward, with my highly skilled counsellor-educated communication skills and masterful “feminine energy” tools I applied to our relationship, which I deep down wanted to work out SO BAD.

You can imagine the rest... his needs first, mine got sent to the back. Every time. The sign got ignored. My voice silenced, by him but most importantly BY ME. I was the one who had let it all happen. I knew no other way at the time.

But that day?

I was moving it all back out into the forefront again. Where I mattered. Where my heart, my soul, my energy, mattered first, to me. And I turned it all around. I made space for “me first” in my home, my life, my finances. I centred myself, instead of him.

AND??

  All my relationships improved, because people-pleasing isn’t being present and a powerful influence on the lives of those in our inner circle, ever! Because we aren’t truly ourselves, truly happy playing this role.

  I got to know me again. Tended to my true, soul-based desires so they could light up and lead my life again.

  I took my life purpose seriously again and promised myself that my era of ignoring it and living like it didn’t matter either, was coming to a permanent end, so my business blew up in the best of ways.

That’s how it works. Creating wealth and well-being from the inside is how we do it.

So in case you’re reading this and you are in it now, or have been in it before, this is your reminder: where you position yourself determines everything around you. If you don’t prioritize you above all? Your purpose, your deep (maybe currently buried) desires, your heart? Nobody else will - especially if you’ve got old patterns running that you’re not rising up into your full Goddess-given power to deal with head on.

First within you, just you and you --maybe with a mentor, which is what I’m here for-- but first the inner work however you do it, then externally.

The universe supports you coming back home to you, over and over again, every step of the way, either way. You just gotta say “no more of that” and YES to more of this.

Gina

PS My podcast is running hot right now for you to dive deep into this transformation more!!! Click the image below to listen now.